by J. Deland Shorter
There’s a recurring theme that seems to rear its ugly head out when someone wants to move themselves to a better position in life, business, and even in relationships.
I remember as a young preacher and inspirational lecturer being told that in order to connect with my audience I needed to be transparent and allow people to see me for who I really am.
I must admit that at the time that statement sounded really good and I took it and started to frame all of my sermons and motivational presentations around the foundation of being transparent. This, my friends, is actually where the trouble began.
First, let’s define being transparent. A lot of people say they are being transparent, but what comes through is actually the mask that they are hiding behind.
Something that is easily seen through, recognized, or detected, is transparent. For example, a transparent excuse. A lot of people say they are being transparent, but what comes through is actually the mask that they are hiding behind. It is a mask they show not only to the outside world but to themselves.
For years, I have had the vision of being a great writer and teacher. Every time that I would begin writing my first book I would sit down and have a very candid conversation with myself from the position of being transparent in my writing.
It always ended with me thinking I am not a good writer so the best things for me to do is stop writing. No one will want to read this corny life story of mine. That all came to a screeching halt the day I recognized the mental blocks “being transparent” created in my mind.
Every time I started writing, I masked my potential. I covered it with the perception of what I have allowed others to convince me I was. It was false transparency based others projections that I had accepted.
The Truth About Transparency
Do you remember the overhead projector from school? If you went to school before the mid-90s, you probably do. This machine allowed a teacher to show information that was already written or the teacher would write on the transparency film. The transparency would always change with each new problem or new information.
Transparency changes our actions and attitude based on the situation we find ourselves in.
This is often how we act in life and business. When we meet new people or clients we change our actions, attitude, and the information that we are sharing or writing based on the situation.
Can you be open enough with yourself to accept the parts of you that you may not like in order to make you not only better but complete?
J. Deland Shorter
This is not who we are authentically.
In most relationships, this kind of transparency that leaves both parties trying to figure out who they really are, where they really stand, and what they really mean to the other person or party in the relationship. The truth always manifests over time and seems to almost always manifest at the wrong time.
Here is what really happens when we are so-called transparent: We only show enough information to get us the desired result at the time. Or maybe better stated we only give circumstantial evidence to convince the judge and jury and demand that the verdict is in our favor.
Vulnerability, however, is much harder to face; but it is the most rewarding position to take. Vulnerability is often thought of as a weakness, but taking off the mask is actually the position of great strength. I once heard it said that most people who hate or dislike you, do so based on speculation and hearsay, but a person who really loves you, does so with all the evidence that tells them not to. It is in this statement that we find the reality and value of taking off the mask.
I was recently asked to speak at an event. The person who asked appeared so excited about having me come. So I took a moment before I accepted the engagement to truly test our relationship.
I told him to do a background check on me and he told me no matter what was on the report, there is nothing that would surprise him or make him change his mind. He thanked me for being transparent with him. I replied, “I’m not being transparent, I am being vulnerable. I give you all the evidence and trusting that you will not hurt or harm me with it.”
Of course, we know exactly what happened. The event was canceled. He did not feel a person with my past was a good fit for the event due to the information that he saw in the background check. At that moment, I was able to laugh and smile because I saw through his transparency.
My vulnerability unmasked his prejudices. This will always serve you well in life and in business.
Vulnerability is always the position of faith, strength, and power. When we take off the mask of transparency and choose to become vulnerable, we will find our true selves that we have not only accepted but LOVE, unconditionally and deeply.
My past is exactly that — the PAST. The only need for me to return to it is reinforcing the lessons learned from it and the celebration of the failures that have become victories.
Vulnerability is one of the most critical life lessons. We have to not only be vulnerable with others but with ourselves. Can you be open enough with yourself to accept the parts of you that you may not like in order to make you not only better but complete? Can you honestly accept your differences and your failure to meet standards that are set for you by a system that is sometimes intent on distracting vision, dishonoring your position, at times even destroying your purpose and delaying your destiny?
This level of vulnerability comes with absolute liberation. This freedom will allow you not only permission to leap but will give you the wings of the eagle to soar in your authenticity and creativity making, who you are, and what you do in great demand. So take off the mask and be the a
J. Deland Shorter is a pastor and motivational speaker. His calling is to teach people how to reach their Greater Destiny.
